- Mayans rise to power and institute new calendar, calling for new end of the world, 4012. So, we go to overtime.......
- Ahmadinejad renounces both Islam and little white jackets, applies to Harvard, where he is accepted as grad student and TA in nuclear physics.
- To revive her moribund TV career, Sarah Palin comes out of hiding, wins Republican nomination, defeats Obama in photo finish race after all hanging chads counted (7 weeks).
- Stock market falls 8,000 points.
- Day after inauguration, Palin resigns, joins Oprah Winfrey Network as EVP. "You betcha," she says. "Just wanted to show all you I could do it!" She further explained that "all politics is entertainment" and only saw "the White House as a stepping stone to my dream job."
- Stock market rallies 9,000 points.
- Euro money crisis fades from view. EU finance minister explains: "All money is conceptual -- we imagined we had more, much more -- and it worked!"
- Dow Jones reaches 35,000 -- predicted more than 12 years ago.
- Gold plummets to 1930s level $20 per oz. Hedge fund king John Paulson: "When we broke $35, we realized we had trouble, big trouble, right here in....." Was led away while singing medley of Broadway show tunes.
- Magyars replace Mayans as world thought leaders, suggest move U.N. headquarters to Budapest. "Only step one of many," premier says at news conference. Euro leaders demur.
Sorry to be tardy with these. More cross currents of change here than originally imagined.....
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